Jealousy is an unattractive trait to have and can rip relationships apart. If you find yourself getting angry every time she looks at another man and you can’t let her out of your sight then you need to read on.
Dealing with jealousy can be difficult. Remember that her actions play a part in how you react. So keep this in mind when reading my tips on how to deal with jealousy below.
Why Am I Jealous?
To get to the root of the problem you need to ask yourself why you’re jealous. Your feelings are created due to past experiences that you have collected in your mind over time. This could be the following:
- Ex-girlfriends have cheated on you in the past.
- You cheat on her so you feel that she must do the same.
- You’re not used to a woman that likes to socialise with both male and female friends.
- You take drugs, which can make you paranoid.
- You’re insecure and feel that she is too good for you.
- She has had lots of sexual partners which makes you feel uncomfortable.
- She has a high sex drive and you feel if you’re not around she will find someone else.
- You feel your relationship is too good to be true and that it will end one day.
Signs Of Jealousy
Jealousy is often caused by your state of mind, rather than the acts of your partner. Below are some signs of jealousy that you may be portraying.
- You invade her privacy. You listen to her phone calls, read her texts, emails and search through her personal belongings.
- You prowl around. You try to gather information on her activities and even surprise visits with the aim of catching her out.
- You make false accusations. You constantly question her, asking the same question in different ways in an attempt to catch her out.
- You try to control her behaviour. You use psychological control such as guilt, manipulation, intimidation or even physical force in an attempt to try and control her behaviour.
- You feel insecure when she talks to men.
- You constantly fear that you’re going to lose her.
How To Deal With Jealousy
Learning how to deal with jealousy is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. Everyone gets jealous from time to time however, experiencing jealousy on a daily basis is a problem you need to resolve.
Men that are constantly jealous often misinterpret what’s going on, taking what might be an innocent event and thinking about it in the worst way possible. For example:
- She hasn’t immediately returned my phone calls; she must be cheating on me.
- She has just text her ex; she must still have feelings for him.
- She has been talking to that guy for a while; she must fancy him.
A jealous man will always jump to a negative conclusion. Jumping to such conclusions often fuels his suspicion more, driving him crazy. He becomes over controlling and needy.
Relationships like this never seem to last long due to all the problems and arguments that jealousy causes. Here are some tips on how to deal with jealousy.
Talk To Her Friends
Talk to those who know her best. Get to know more about her life and let them reassure you what a great woman you have. Becoming a part of her social world, (i.e. her world without you) you might begin to see that she isn’t the cheat you might once thought.
Go Out With Her
If you think that every time she goes out on her own that she is looking for her next shag, then go out with her and find out how harmless her nights out really are. Meet all of her friends, especially her male friends and you will begin to realise that you have been letting your imagination run away with you.
Be Flattered
If you see a man checking your girl out from across the bar, then take it as a compliment. Remember that you are the one taking her home to bed tonight.
Remember What It’s Like Approaching Women
Think back to how hard you found picking up women. It’s likely other men find it hard too. Every time a man approaches your woman he will get rejected. Knowing others are struggling is a good way to get over jealousy.
No One Is Better Than You
If you feel insecure and that every man is better than you, then invest some of your time in self improvement. Get fit, read self help books and improve your appearance. A self-secure male believes that no one can beat him. If you portray this confidence, her behaviour won’t affect you.
Seek Professional Help
If you feel like your jealous feelings are out of control and you can’t sort them out yourself then seek help from a professional.
Remember This Advice
Everything that makes you jealous about your partner is nothing more than a projection. When you start to feel jealous, you are actually revealing your own insecurities. Stop blaming her and start looking at your jealousy as your own problem. You can’t change the way she behaves. The only thing you can change is how you react emotionally to her behaviour.
And remember, if she wants to cheat then she will go ahead and do it. So instead of worrying about her every move, and calling her a hundred times a day, live your life to the full and enjoy it!