“Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past”
– Buddy Wakefield – Poet via Rev. Kathianne Lewis of Seattle
Let that statement roll around in your mind for a moment. What it says is very true and amazingly simple.
Many people are very hung up on what has happened in the past, some to the point that they cannot really live in the here and now because they are mired down in what happened in their past, what happened to them, what they did to others, what they have done to themselves, etc. The wisdom of Buddy’s words is that in a way we do not forgive because in some very twisted way we are indeed hoping for a better past. When we say it that way we see the absurdity of the way we are thinking. We instantly see that we can’t hope for a better past because what has transpired will not change. We can’t go back in time and change our choices, we can’t go back in time and stop the abuse that was put upon us, we can’t go back and change what we said or did to someone or even to ourselves. Bottom line there is no hope for a better past and when we view it from this perspective we then begin to realize there is no reason to hold on to the past, there is no reason to hold a grudge, there is no reason to hold on to hate, there is no reason NOT to FORGIVE!
Truly the only way we can change the past is to change how we choose to allow the past to impact us in the present moment. We have the power to choose how we allow the past to effect this moment. We can choose at this moment to forgive.
Forgive the abuse you suffered at the hands of others
Forgive the neglect that you experienced
Forgive those who beat you down
Forgive those who stomped on your dreams
Forgive those who were not there for you when you needed them
Forgive those who abandoned you
Forgive those who showed you hate
Forgive those who did not return your love
Forgive those who lied to you
Forgive those who cheated you
Forgive those who treated you as a lesser being
Forgive those who were prejudice against you
Forgive those who did not accept you for who you are
Forgive those who pressured you into doing things you did not want to do
Forgive those who made you feel unworthy
Now:
Forgive yourself for abusing others
Forgive yourself for neglecting others
Forgive yourself for beating down others
Forgive yourself for stomping on other people’s dreams
Forgive yourself for not being there when you were needed by another
Forgive yourself for abandoning others
Forgive yourself for the hate you showed to others
Forgive yourself for not returning the love that was bestowed upon you by others
Forgive yourself for the lies you have told
Forgive yourself for cheating
Forgive yourself for acting as though you were superior to others and making people feel lesser then they are so that you could feel better about yourself
Forgive yourself for the judgments you have made out of prejudice
Forgive yourself for not accepting others as they are
Forgive yourself for coercing others into doing things they did not want to do
Forgive yourself for making others not feel worthy
Forgive yourself for not loving enough
Now:
Forgive yourself for abusing yourself
Forgive yourself for neglecting yourself
Forgive yourself for beating yourself down
Forgive yourself for not believing in your own dreams
Forgive yourself for not being present for your own needs
Forgive yourself for hating yourself at times
Forgive yourself for not loving yourself
Forgive yourself for the lies you told yourself
Forgive yourself for cheating yourself out of opportunities
Forgive yourself for being so hard on yourself
Forgive yourself for not accepting who you are
Forgive yourself for not listening to your inner voice and choosing to go against that which you knew is right for yourself
Forgive yourself for thinking you are not worthy
Forgive yourself for not loving yourself
Of course there may be other things you need to add to this list for yourself. Now do the list in reverse order. Forgive yourself first and then forgive everything and everyone else. You cannot hope for a better past however you can forgive and let go of your past and choose to create the “now” and future that you desire.